Wes Woodland
Counsellor
Abuse and Trauma
Male Survivors
If you’ve experienced childhood sexual abuse, you might:
- Be haunted by painful memories of the abuse
- Have angry outbursts to seemingly mundane experiences
- Question whether the abuse made you straight/bi/gay/queer
- Struggle to connect with other men
- Try to achieve unrealistic goals to ‘make up’ for what happened
- Feel like you’re less of a man, or like your manhood/masculinity has been taken from you
- Be flooded with feelings of guilt and shame
- Promise to take ‘this secret’ to your grave
- Overcompensate by portraying an ‘alpha male’ image
- Be excessively drinking or using other substances ‘just to feel normal’
- Find yourself unable to commit to long-term relationships, despite wanting to
- Be engaging in sexual behaviours you’re uncomfortable with
- Be disturbed by the amount of porn you consume and/or the type of porn you’re viewing
- Find it difficult to reach out for support
I am here to tell you all of these experiences are a response to trauma, that you’re not alone, and that you deserve to heal from what was done to you.
My Story
Why I Do This Work
I remember completing an e-module on Child & Adult Safeguarding training when I worked in a local café (owned by the council—hence the unusual training). As I went through the examples of how a young person might be groomed, I started to relate. It was a massive shock to the system: to suddenly question whether the sexual experiences I’d engaged in (and had normalised) as a child and teenager had actually been abusive. Confused, I created an anonymous account on Reddit and asked a community of gay men whether what happened had actually been abuse.
When I finally got myself into therapy a year later, I was still in denial. But when I started to disclose some of my history to my therapist, I received the confirmation I’d been looking for a year ago.
Recontextualising, processing, and integrating the abuse was a painful process. I realised many of my daily struggles stemmed from what I’d convinced myself were ‘normal’ experiences. Exploring how my belief systems had been impacted by the trauma of being groomed was difficult, but also extremely useful. My therapist was warm, compassionate, dedicated, honest, and trustworthy. Because of those qualities, I was able to process my past and begin to heal. To this day, it is still the most difficult and liberating thing I’ve ever done.
I am here to pass on this liberation.
Support
How I Can Help
I can provide you with a space where you can make sense of what was done to you. I will help you debunk common myths about male sexual abuse and we’ll look at how your belief systems have been impacted. We’ll also explore and attempt to resolve the conflict between the man you are, the man you want to become, and the man the world wants you to be (based on Richard Gartner‘s book Beyond Betrayal).
I can also provide a psychoeducational space for family members/friends who wish to gain a better understanding of what their loved one might be going through, or who might be struggling with their own feelings around the abuse. Confidentiality is strictly uphold in this by maintaining strong and explicit boundaries.
Book your free initial assessment…
…And find out how counselling can help you.
