My Story
Several years ago, while working in a local café, I was asked to complete an e-module on Child & Adult Safeguarding. As I read through the examples of how young people might be groomed, something unexpected happened:
I started to relate.
It was a massive shock to suddenly question whether the sexual experiences I had normalised as a child and teenager had actually been abusive. Confused and unsettled, I turned to the internet for answers. I created an anonymous account on Reddit and asked a community of gay men whether what I had gone through “counted” as abuse.
Even then, I wasn’t ready to accept the reality. When I eventually began therapy a year later, I was still in denial. But as I shared parts of my history with my therapist, I received the confirmation I’d been looking for.
The Healing Process
Coming to terms with what happened was a painful and confronting process. I realised that many of my struggles—struggles I had assumed were just part of who I was—were actually rooted in trauma.
Recontextualising and processing the abuse was both difficult and liberating. With the support of a warm, compassionate, and trustworthy therapist, I was able to piece together the truth of my experiences, challenge the myths I had internalised, and begin to integrate my past.
It was the hardest work I’ve ever done, and also the most freeing.
Why I Do This Work
That journey changed me. It gave me not only a deeper understanding of myself but also a strong sense of purpose: to support others who may be wrestling with similar questions, doubts, or pain.
Male and non-binary survivors are often left out of the wider conversation about abuse and trauma. Too many are silenced by shame, fear, or misconceptions about what it means to be a man, to be queer, or to simply be human after abuse.
I want to offer the same kind of compassionate, steady support that I was lucky enough to receive so that others can find their own liberation and healing.
Learn More
If you’d like to know more about how I support survivors, you can read about my approach on my Counselling for Male & Non-Binary Survivors page.
And if you feel ready, you can book a free consultation to see how counselling might help you.
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