Carrying Shame Without Realising It
You don’t have to hate being queer to carry shame about it.
Even if you’re proud of who you are—or want to be—pride can sit alongside doubt, anxiety, or emotional pain you don’t quite know how to name.
Many LGBTQIA+ people grow up in environments where parts of themselves were ignored, discouraged, or directly shamed. That silence or judgment doesn’t just disappear. It often goes underground, shaping the way we think, relate, and see ourselves — without us even realising it.
You might already be out. You might be questioning. Or maybe you’ve never had the chance to explore what you’re feeling, because life has kept moving.
Wherever you are in that process, this reflection is for you.
The Weight of “Otherness”
It isn’t always easy to talk about identity, relationships, or the experience of carrying years of feeling “different.”
For many queer people, it becomes second nature to keep things hidden. To soften a story so it’s easier for someone else to hear, or to avoid talking about it at all.
Therapy can offer a different space. A space where you don’t have to explain the basics, where nothing about who you are needs to be justified.
My Own Journey
I’m a gay counsellor, and this work is deeply personal to me.
For a long time, I didn’t realise how much I was carrying. The self-judgment, the people-pleasing, the constant second-guessing of how I looked, what I said, who I was supposed to be. I thought it was just “normal.”
Therapy gave me space to pause. To stop trying to “fix” myself, and instead to listen to what I had learned to hide.
That process was difficult, but it also brought relief. A sense of finally being able to meet myself without apology. Ever since then, I can honestly say I live a happier, more authentic life.
Why I Do This Work
Because I know what it feels like, I want to offer LGBTQIA+ clients a space that is steady, affirming, and respectful of the whole of who they are.
There’s still huge stigma around the world. People from our community face different levels of adversity, and I believe that, once we’ve healed ourselves, we can pass on this healing to others who might be struggling. To me, this is essential, and what it means to be human.
Like to Know More?
If you’d like to know more about how I support LGBTQIA+ clients, you can read about my approach on my LGBTQIA+ Counselling Support page.
And if you feel ready, you can book a free consultation so we can talk things through and see if we’re a good fit.
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